I first heard of Debbie Ford, from Joe Vitale about a year and a half ago. Joe wrote highly of her on his blog. Soon after rushed to the library and picked up Debbie Ford’s best-selling book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams. I picked up a handful of golden nuggets from that book which had a tremendous effect on me and changed me for the better. I have read many books in the past, and I continue to do so. Throughout my journey through life there have been certain books that I read that have changed my life for the better. Debbie Ford’s book was one of them.
So when I heard the she was releasing her new book called, Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy I wanted to get my hands on it. But for whatever reason, I forgot about the book until a few months later when I came to know that Ford was making a “movie” based on the book. The movie is called: The Shadow Effect.
Thanks to the generous offer of CK Reyes of www.divinepurposeunleashed.com I was sent a complimentary copy of The Shadow Effect DVD in exchange for my honest review of the movie. Not only did I watch the movie and think it was great, I also began reading the book and together they offered highly impactful nuggets of wisdom to apply to my life and change it for the better.
So what is the shadow effect really about? Here is a small portion of what I learned about the movie.
The Shadow Effect begins by pointing out that every human being has an internal shadow. Every time we act in a certain way on the outside, we cast a shadow which is its exact opposite. It’s the simple old concept of duality. Everything has an opposite. That includes us. Human beings too are full of opposites. We can be do good or cause harm. We can be happy or sad. We can show empathy or be uncaring. We can be generous or miserly. We can be brave or fearful. The term “shadow” in field of self-development was first used by psychologist Carl Jung. In fact one of Jung’s famous quotes best explains what the shadow really is.
“Until We Make The Unconscious Conscious, It Runs Our Life And We Call It Fate.”
Let me explain to you in another way, how the shadow works.
The evangelist Ted Haggard spoke against homosexuality all the time. In the end he was caught with a male prostitute.
Elliot Spitzer, the governor of New York, spent most of his political career campaigning to rid the streets of prostitution. In the end he was caught in a scandal involving a prostitute.
Jimmy Swaggart, publicly bashed his opponents for their scandalous affair with prostitutes, and in the end he was caught in a similar scandal.
Radio personality Rush Limbaugh chastised many for their drug use. In the end, he admitted to using drugs himself.
There are numerous examples but you get the point. Do you see the recurring pattern here? So what exactly is happening here?
When you deny and suppress the shadow part of yourself for so long and deny its existence, it will one day sneak up on you and demand an outlet. And even when the shadow does seep out of us, the majority of people will still be in a state of complete denial and not tend to the problem until it’s too late.
We have become a society that loves to watch reality shows- the misery of others, and we enjoy when celebrities fumble and make mistakes. It gives us the opportunity to point a finger at them, pass judgements on them and feel superior.
We distract ourselves with alcohol, drugs, music, compulsive shopping, food, chocolate or anything else we can find to temporarily bandage the problem in front us. Instead we need to look at our problems and negative emotions in our lives head on and get to the root of the problem and solve it from there. Denying the existence of our problems is the worst thing we can do because essentially we are lying to our self.
So what happens when we deny the bad parts of us? We begin to project the parts of ourselves we hate or dislike onto others.
What you hate or annoys you about others is usually something that exists in you also.
Denial is not a river in Egypt.
Only when we accept responsibility for our actions…only when we stop blaming outside factors, only when our mood stops being dependent on outside factors, is when we can truly live and make conscious choices.
The destructive patterns that we continue, whether its procrastination, drug use, falling into abusive relationships or making non beneficial friendships.
Every time we create an outer image for the outside world, we cast a shadow…and that shadow is the opposite of that outer image we are portraying.
The world is created in duality…in opposites, black and white, male and female, dark and light, heat and cold, pain and pleasure and so on.
The shadow is a part of us that we don’t want to expose to others. To hide our shadow we create outer masks, thus creating even bigger shadows.
We create masks for ourselves…..for example the over achiever may be hiding a constant sense of failure and worthlessness. The eternal optimist or the class clown maybe hiding a sense of sadness. Someone who was called stupid when they were younger now tries hard to be an intellectual, always spewing facts.
A human-being is an emotion producing mechanism. You have the ability to experience a full spectrum of emotions. We should be free to feel whatever bubbles up, now I am not saying that we should act on every emotion that pops up, but at the same time when we deny the existence of those same emotions we are creating a split in our self.
When you suppress your “dark side” too long, they will have to bubble up…they will find an outlet….and when they do express themselves….they will sabotage you.
And you wonder why, you did or said something that you know is not something you would normally do or say.
Our negative side can actually be of benefit to us and helpful to us.
For example, there are times when being selfish can be a good thing. There are times when being outspoken can be a good thing (against oppression or an unjust act). There are times when being stubborn can be a good thing (against people who want to bring you down and dissuade you.) There are times when being angry is a good things (for example when you see injustice taking place.”
The parts of you that you are ashamed of and are trying to suppress and actually bring benefits. They can teach you a lesson.
Human beings cannot and should not be boxed in…should not be labelled. We are everything and everyone at any given time. What we see in others is usually a reflection of ourselves. Instead of dealing with the negative qualities existing with us, we project them onto others.
The Shadow Effect Movie stresses the importance of cultivating forgiveness and cultivating gratitude. What I liked about the movie is that it diagnosed the problems and the symptoms and offered a solution and a cure. Watching the DVD will open your eyes and make you realise the cause of some of your unwanted actions and to truly benefit you want to also do some inner work to remove your self-imposed limitations.
Conclusion
The only thing I didn’t agree with it was that one of the presenters referred to human beings as being divine in nature. This is an idea that exists in some self-development circles that I completely disagree with. No doubt that the Almighty created us in perfect form and with special skills and abilities, but we are in no way perfect in our actions. We are not divine, because if we were, you wouldn’t see the atrocities being caused by human beings today. Having said that, we want to take the good from everything.
Watching the movie was eye opening for me. Some of the concepts were things that I had already learnt before, but to know something intellectually is very different to actually applying the knowledge. Debbie Ford has a unique way of presenting information that hits the message home. This movie is by no means a cure for all. It’s simply a tool that will help you recognise the cause of some of our negative patterns and limitations and will point you to a direction of positive change. I urge you to watch The Shadow Effect Movie and read the book Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy as well. My review does not do the movie justice.
Koorosh Vahabi
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